Here We Go Again
by Yukiusic
Summary: Elena Gilbert was 11 when she met the love of her life (Stefan Salvatore?),but behaviors and morals led them apart...five years later,they contact each other again,will they find their way back to each other?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Guys would you stop it" I snapped

"What's wrong?"Joline asked

"Just don't talk about this topic infront of me,Because I love him,okay" I finally confessed

All of my friends stood their staring at ,Clara,Rose and I have been friends since I started playing table tennis,we never fought until this moment,sort of!

"You what?" Joline choked

"You heard me"

Nothing ever made me mad at them or anything,until they would bring up this topic.

The fact that Stefan may have feelings for Clara,stirs some sort if anger inside of me I've never felt before.

Stefan is a table tennis player just like the four of us,the difference is that he is actually a Champion,he goes to the same club as us.

"Why didn't you say anything from the beginning ?" Clara asked

"I don't know,I just didn't" My expression was neutral

You may find this an awkward and an irrelevant discussion between an 11-year old girls,but we are still young and foolish and we know nothing else...Atleast that's what I hear my parents say.

**||So how did you like it?,Shall I continue? If I did next chapter we will be meeting Stefan ;) ||**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Since when have you had these feelings for him?" Clara asked

"Since I joined the actual team!" I say embarrassment creeping in

The day I joined the team "Under 12 A",I saw him at practice,they way his eyes shone through his sunglasses when the light hit them made me stare non-stop,Luckily enough we were the same age as each other,only he was on the boys team and I ofcourse was on the girls'.

"And you didn't say anything,wow thank you bestfriend" Rose remarked

"Look,I'm sorry, it's not like that or that I don't trust I just didn't want it to be jinx-ed"

"Well lucky for you that we know now,C'mon" Clara said

"Where?" Joline asked

"To where he's sitting,We've got a friend to hook up" Clara said hastily

I've always liked about Clara that she was a girl of action and feared nothing,even at this age of ours,she always seemed so independent.

We went to where he was sitting just to sit a few chair above him on the strips

"Are you sure about this?,I mean he obviously has it for you,since everytime we catch him staring at you" I said to Clara

"Yes, I'm sure and plus I don't like him anyway,no need to be jealous"She chuckled

"Am not jealous,you know that's not what I meant" I scoffed

Moments later,he stood up and went down the strips to his friends,Then I found Serena coming to sit with us.

Serena isn't much of our friend,but she's on our team too she's two years younger than us,While being busy with my thoughts I heard the words I love Stefan said

I looked directly to find Serena the one who said these words,I kept looking back and forth between her and Clara

"Elena does too"

"CLARA!" my voice was slightly high pitched

"Relax,both of you have the same secret,so you both will be keeping it" She said amused

UGH! I can't believe her

"Guys,let's hang out" Rose said

I get up obviously irritated by Clara,and Serena,I mean come on she's nine what does she know about love,I say this to myself realizing I'm only two years older than her

As soon as we reached the door,I found the boys hanging outside

"Hey" Stefan said


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hi" Serena Answered

I dont' know what I'm doing,I'm just standing there in the middle,like literally

"Elena?"

"ELENA!?" Joline shouted

"What?,Sorry" Now I'm really embarrassed

"So,what are you up to?" Duke asked us

Duke is Stefan's friend,he's also ours,but he's his bestfriend

"Nothing,we just thought we could get some air" Serena answered quickly,SERIOUSLY!

"What are you up to?"I found myself asking

"Same" Stefan answered,I think I'm blushing now!

"Ok,you are weird,quit blushing and smiling like an idiot,too obvious"Rose whispered answering my thoughts

"When are your matches" Liam asks us,yet another friend

"Tonight,Which is weird because we are here now and it's midday" Everyone laughs but him

"Come on even Serena laughed"I say to myself

"Ours are tonight too,so you're not the only ones being weird" Liam smiles

Liam is a really nice guy,And we're guessing there's something starting between him and Joline

The evening came,We reached our hotel to have lunch before we can get back to the stadium again,It's quite the process every championship.

We wake up like at 6 AM,have our breakfast then go to the stadium,return,we have a little time to have lunch and change our clothes,then go back to the stadium and return at 12 AM most of the days,have dinner and then the process repeats itself everyday.

By the time we make it back to the stadium,we missed half of pre-matches practice,but I never really found difference whether to play in it or not,beacuse it's always crowdy and people rushing to take their turns.

We finish and go to sit back at the top of the strips again.

"I'll be right back" Clara anounces,then she goes and sits with him,what could she possibly be telling him?Hope not about,Geez don't know how will I deal with that.

Just when I'm wondering,I find Serena coming to sit with,I guess she's going with the method "Keep Your Friends Close&Your Enemies Closer",She must see me as an enemy,A rival..the thought is funny though

"Elena,I need you for a moment" Clara motioned to me,I stood up and followed her to the stairs.

"He Loves You" she squeaks

"What!?" I choke panicked

"He loves you,he's totally into you"

"Wait,what did you say to him?"

"Nothing after the "Almost-heat" between you and Serena this morning when we were outside, I asked if noticed anything,if he knows what's going on,he said yes that you and Serena obviously love him" She says and I'm about to fall to the ground "I asked what was his opinion and he said that he loves you" she continues

"Are you sure,I mean we caught many times staring at you" I emphasis you

"Everytime we caught you were with me,which means he was probably staring at you not me,we must've understood it the wrong way"

"Oh my god" I'm too much excited now "Seriously Clara did this happen?"

"Yes,come on" she gestured

"What are we doing?" I'm confused

"We're gonna get you two to officially meet" She took my hand and we walked over to where he was siting

"Elena,Stefan...Stefan,Elena"She says,partially introducing us as if we don't know each other

We shake hands "Hi" he says "Hi" I reply

||1st:thank you so muck for 50 reads on only 2 chapters which were short it really means alot,2nd:I know you're probably wondering when are the TVD cast gonna appear?,It will be after the time zone-gap which is 5 years,I'll to make it soon..Please comment or message,tell me what you think,Shall I continue?!||


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

||Just note that this time of the story takes place in 2009,so we can complete it off in 2014,after the time-zone change,which is five years later||

"Clara can I speak with you for a minute" He says

"Sure"Clara smiled before she walked away with him

"Well that was awkward" I thought to myself ,I spot Serena crying and rushing herself up,I don't know why I did it but I rushed after her,I know we're not that much of a friends,specially after today that there might be some sort of feud between us,but still I don't want to be fighting with anyone on these kind of things,fighting over a boy was never my thing and I didn't want it to be,Losing someone over a boy is such a silly thing,I don't even know why people do it.

"Hey,wait up,what happened?" I ask

"As if you don't know" She snaps "Ofcourse she's your friend,she's gonna hook you up together"

"What are you talking about,nothing happened" I lied,I had to I guess,Clara joins us

"Yeah right" She scoffs "You can have him anyway,I don't him anymore" she runs off

"That was weird" Clara says "Look about Stefan,You don't know that he loves you,OK?"

"What?" I'm really confused "He asked if I told you something,And that if I didn't,then I shouldn't tell you,So I played it off and told him that I didn't I just wanted make things..."She trailed off "Normal between you too"She continued

"Why?" "I don't know!,Can you just play it off?"She asked

"No" I refuse,I mean so what if I knew,he obviously knows about me

"Please!" She's begging now and I hate her for it

"Fine,I don't know what's the use of it anyway" I gave up

By the time we went back to the hotel & had our dinners,Just when I was going up to my room,he was with his mother and sister taking photos in the lobby.

I couldn't help but stare again,the way he smiles,the way his eyes shine through his eyeglasses whenever the light hit him,he's just so gorgeously beautiful.

"I see you've been doing this whole staring thing alot lately"Joline speaks from behind me

"Hey" I smile,Joline is the closest one to me

"Hi" she speaks with this tone that I know she wants to tell me something "Come on,speak up I won't be mad" I smile

"No, that's not what I meant,I just...I,this has been a very long eventful day for you"She states "Why haven't you said anything to me before?" She asks a hint of sadness in her voice that I haven't told my bestfriend that I seem to be falling in love with a guy and that it's really affecting me this time.

"I don't know..really I just didn't know how to get it out of me,I just,I don't know" I feel gulity,I really didn't know what was with I just couldn't,the feeling was really strange,I couldn't express it in words&it was consuming,it felt weird,but it was strangely the best one ever...then again I'm only eleven.

"Well you have to promise me to never keep anything from me again"Her voice is demanding but I know she understands me. "I Promise"

Just I change my clothes I fall asleep immediately.

The next morning I'm relieved that I won't be going to the stadium today,I'll just hangout at the hotel,It's not as boring as it sounds,there are playstation alleys and a trampoline here at the hotel which are enough for us.

After the confessions yesterday and now that everything is on the table,it seems alot more comfortable,we talked this morning at breakfast&it didn't feel weird at all,which seems cheesy because it's supposed to work otherwise,just thank god the luck is with me this time.

We went outside to play on the trampoline,Me,Joline,Rose,Clara,Serena&Anna

Anna is Stefan's younger sister,She's the same age as Serena..Meaning she's 9 years all rushed to the trampoline and we kept jumping around,screaming&laughing like the children we are,Being a child is the best that can ever happen to you,you fight with a friend and stay five minutes then talk to each other again,because all you want is to be happy,you forget about your pride then,and happiness is all you care about, that is the perk of being a child

"Look what I can do"Clara boasted as she flipped while jumping,we all did that after her in turns.

At the same time the boys went to the playstation alley, After the half hour passed we all got out

"I think I wanna go and play some playstation"Clara announced and looked at me with a smirk on her face,I know exactly what she's doing and I hate it,I don't want things to go that way,non of these thing were ever my way.

"I don't think that's a good idea so I'll pass" I said,she looked at me surprised & confusion all over her face "I'll go with you" Serena said

"Me too" Anna tagged along and ofcourse Rose went with as she is a big "Clara suck-up"

"So...That leaves me & you,What do you do?play cards,another round of trampoline?"I said to Joline as she smiled "Can I ask you a question" she asked as we paced around "sure"

"Why didn't you go with them...?" she trailed off "to the playstation alley I mean"

"No reason actually ,I just,I know what Clara is trying to do& you know it's not my thing , I wanted it to go all naturally not all these hook ups and "she's pretty and funny" and the bla bla bla's" We both laugh

"I hoped it'd be another reason so that I'd convince you cause I really wanna play tekken"She said with a grin,Now I feel really bad and my expression changed "What?! and you're staying with me ,Come on ! No go and play you know I won't be mad"

"But I won't leave you alo.." I cut her off "Go and play I'll stay here and work on my jumping flipping thing on the trampoline I really suck at it" She smiled "ok" ,I cut her off again while she was on her way to the alley "Remember tekken 5 is the best" She smiled and continued walking

What feels like an hour passed I find them all coming out of the alley & I'm still flipping,I think I'm getting better at it.

Just when I do another flip I hear his voice "Mind if I join?" he says with a smile "No" I chuckle.

"Why didn't come with them to alley?,they were all there,do you prefer spending time alone or something?" Stefan asked

"No I just didn't feel like playing" I answered half honestly "Or were you afraid that I would beat you in tekken" he teased "What! You really think you can beat me in it" I answered and it's true when it comes to tekken I'm an expert and I'm very competitive at it.

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on" I grinned

" So I say that you can beat me at the trampoline too?" He said and pulled out his tongue

"No I'll leave that to you,I wouldn't challenge you on it"I laughed an we went on jumping.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"UGHHH! How do you keep winning"Stefan exclaimed while he lost for the fifth time on tekken

"Told ya I was good at it" I boasted

"Well teach me master" He said playfully "My..."

"Your time is up" The alley manager announced

Stefan and I glanced at each other sadness taking over our expressions

"Thank you"Stefan said as we made our way to the door

As we got out we both opened our mouths to say something "You first" He said

"I had a really good time" I said

"Yeah,We definitely should do it again before we leave" He said , a smile instantly appearing on my face

When I was about to respond I saw Serena standing in the trampoline staring us down,"We should" I said simply

We walked to the lobby,said our goodbyes,then each headed to our rooms.

On my way to my room I kept replaying what happened today with Stefan,I couldn't help but the smile appearing on it's own.

It's just like the hardest thing in the world that you love someone and you can't tell them how you feel,then the greatest thing in the world that they come to you saying they feel the same thing as you do.

That feeling is indescribable,they way it hits you,it's fascinating.

Just as I was about to open the door Joline opened it , she looked like she was panicking

"Your mom asked me about you,And I didn't know what to tell her,Where have you been all this time?"She asked all at once

"Chill,Just tell I was with Stefan" I said calmly "All this time!?"She said,Confusion on her face at my calmness

"Yeah" I responded,she shrugged her "So tell me what happened.!"She demanded

"Nothing we just hopped around the trampoline,then hung out around there a little,we went to the PlayStation alley,I beat him in tekken and finally here I am"I told the events of the as she squeaked of excitement

I laughed "Serena was there,she saw us" I blurted out

"Oh"Was all she said

"I just don't want us to fight over this thing,I know we're not really bestfriends,but still we are some sort of friends I don't want us to fight over a silly thing like this" I told her, I knew that didn't know what to say and I didn't mind o appreciated that she listened.

...

It was now three weeks after the championship and Stefan had an African championship which I was supposed to and be like a support to him and cheer for him but my dad was on a business trip and my mom was busy do I had no ride to stadium,Joline was on the other side of town so I wasn't on her way to pick me up,neither Clara nor Rose were going

"I'm doomed"I told myself

I know that Stefan will be mad at me and I wouldn't blame him,but he also should know that I had no choice.

I opened Facebook and waited for him because I know I have alot of apologizing to do.

...

"How did it go,did he win?"i asked Joline as soon as she answered her phone

"He lost"She and she didn't even mind that I didn't ask how was she,she probably knew what was going on on my mind

That was one of the best things in ojr friendship,we never got mad at each other for stuff like this.

She told me everything and then we hung up,I directly when to my computer

*I'm sorry,I really am,my didn't agree and my was traveling,I had no ride*

*No,you promised you'd be there and you didn't,you broke your promise and I trusted you,now I don't anymore,I lost*

*Look it was really out of my hands ask Joline if you want too*

I kept apologizing till we were back as we were.

...

Weeks passed we became closer and we talked everyday non-stop,even at practice we glanced at each other every five minutes,it was a dream come true.

One day I was at sleepover at Joline's just me and her.

We were texting each other on the mobile.

*So where will you go?* I asked him,he was transferring clubs.

*I don't know yet but my dad's mind is set* he said

*Well tell as soon as you know* I asked him

*Sure that's a must,but I'm really sad*

*I know,You'll be leaving your friends,and starting new isn't always easy*

*No that's not the reason,it's because I love you*


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It's like everything around me is numb

Did he just say that he loves me?! And through a text message...

I don't know what to say,Should I even reply? We're only eleven,do we mean it?do we even know what love really means?All these questions roam in my head.

My first instinct is to show Joline "OH MY GOD! Did he just say that! He actually did" she shrieks like crazy

"What do I say?Should I even say anything?" I sucked all in and I'm starting to freak out "Yes you should...uhhh say that you..uh..you...I don't know"

*I knew it* I send back

I should probably feel bad or guilty atleast,but I don't know I just don't.

*Me too*he replies

Me too what! I didn't say anything, Whatever I decided to let it go for now but it was weird that he continued texting and never ask about it

...

Joline and I were going to sleep when she brought it up "Hey E?"

"Yeah"

"Why didn't you tell Stefan that you loved him back?"

She asked me the question that she knew it's answer,so did I "I don't know,you know I'm not into dating and all that stuff and I wouldn't rush,we're still children after all" I said convincingly.

I always thought of the fact that I'm aware that we're still children and I never act upon it "I don't know" I blurted

"Well Ok,Good Night"

"Good Night"

...

I don't date...I don't like the whole idea of dating,the whole boyfriend/girlfriend method thing,I just don't feel it,it doesn't work with me I guess.

What's the whole thing of dating anyway? You go out with some guy the only thing you know is that you like him,atleast for that time,then if things don't work out you just get your heart broken,so what's the use of it anyway,I might be wrong about it but that's just how I see it.

Once I start getting all cheeky and cozy with someone,I get scared and I start to push that person and myself away,I start to retreat,and that's what I've been doing with Stefan lately,not that I did it with someone before but I know I was gonna,I NEVER liked dating.

"How are you?"

"Good,you?"

"Fine,I miss you"

"Yeah...:)"

"Are you coming to the training today?"

"Yes, ofcourse it's you're last day in the club today and I won't miss it"

":D"

"Well I gotta go now see you later"

"Alright,bye 3"

"Bye."

That's when I all started,he started being all cheeky and romantic and stuff.

I don't know what's wrong with me I just started pulling back and avoiding him.

I saw him later that day at the club during training,we kept stealing glances and I can't say I didn't like it and that I wasn't happy,because I don't,but I still don't know what's wrong with me towards him.

We held a party for him and his sister for leaving,it wasn't technically a party we were just hanging around with juice and chips

...

Days passed and practice was pretty much the same I just wish hadn't kept looking at the door every five minutes.

So when I went home I automatically got on facebook and I see that he already messaged me

"Hi,where have you been?"

"Uhhh..here xD" Ughhh I hate myself

"Doesn't seem like it,do you like don't want to talk to me or something?"

"What? no,of course not,it's just ummm you know...my sisters have all the time on the computer I don't have but like an hour or so" I lie,crap

"If you don't want to talk to me anymore just tell so that I could just go date someone else"

What!did he just say that? I mean so easily!

"Who said we're dating? I don't date"I don't care I just had to say it

"Wow you're such a good person"

"Well thanks"

And we never talked again after that.

He removed from facebook but then friend requested me again after a while but I just ignored him,then never talked again,we'd sometimes maybe catch a glimpse of each other at the championships,but that's all.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

*January 2014*

Sophomore year,It's the last day of the mid year exams and finally vacation,the first semester has been hell and whoever said 10th grade was easy was soo wrong.

"Well we're officially free "Caroline exclaimed "For two weeks

"So final decision ,Mall it is?"

"Yeah" We all sighed in desperation

It was this tradition of us,our group, the last day of each semester at the last day of the exams we'd all hangout as a celebration,and since we were out of places it was always the mall.

We go to the mall,watch a movie,grab something to eat and the walk around a little,we the girls were sick of it ourselves,no wonder how the guys must've felt,but what was really important is that we were all together.

"Hey" I heard his faint voice and quickly turned around with this stupid smile on my face

"Hi" I say while walking over to him and hugging him in a tight embrace "How are you?"

"Well I'm fine now" Ryan said smirking

Ryan is my best bestfriend ever,He's like the greatest guy I've ever known,like a brother to me,ofcourse feelings got in the way,form his side but it never worked,he used to be with us in the school but now he's home-schooled,he hangs around school alot though.

"So you're coming with us today?"Matt asked,Matt was Ryan's bestfriend and mine too,but him and Ryan were childhood friends..So were Caroline and Bonnie.

"Nope,Can't"

"What?Why?"I asked immediately

"I've got stuff to do and plus I don't get semester breaks like you"

What a way to start a day "Whatever I'm going to the bathroom"

"I'm coming with" Sarah said " You don't have to be mad ,y'know"

"I'm not I just really don't like when we're all not together,and it all happened since he started home-school "

"Everything doesn't have to stay the same"

"No,they don't" I mumbled

After I got back from the bathroom we all headed to the mall and watched the wolf of wallstreet.

...

I got home and automatically like every teenager these days scooped my cell and found 20 whatsapp messages and 2 facebook chats and tons of twitter notifications,I get really pumped when I see that I have alot of twitter notifications because it's one of the very little things that make me feel good about myself.

Yeah,I haven't grew to be that much of a person,I mean I'm lucky to have that number of friends.

I decided to check my facebook first to get it over with,I found a message from Meredith, my friend from table tennis,the club I used to play at cut down the whole game so I transferred clubs,I've been at the this one for three years now going on the forth,the table tennis championships begins in July,so now I'm in the middle of my third year and we have only two championships left in the season,one were we play individually,and the other were we play as a team.

This is my first year to play in the "Under 18" team only to be "Under 18 B" yet another thing of million things to make me feel bad about myself.

There were alot of girls at practice of all teams but my bestfriends were only 6,:Meredith,Emily,Corine,Ava,Chloe and Jenna.

Jenna Was in Canada and is going to be there for the next two years,My friends from other clubs Were Joline,Lea and Tammy,Yes Joline and I were separated when the game was cut down,but we stayed bestfriends

*You coming today* Asked Meredith

*Yepp!,u?*

She didn't answer,probably wasn't on as I was checking my second message,whatsapp ringed indicating a received a new one so I went to check it

*Elenaaaaaa* It was from Rose

*OMG! Rose I miss you* Rose stopped playing table tennis a year after the game was cut down,but we stayed in touch every now and then,the only one we've all grown out of touch with was Clara,she was with me in the club for two years but then stopped playing.

Sarah's words from earlier ring in my head

Everything doesn't have to stay the same.

And I guess she was right

*I miss you too,hey when's you're next championship?*

*Uhh! next week,why?*

*Great I have a championship at the stadium that time ,I finally get to see you and joline,yours is at the stadium,right?*

*Yes it is Hall 1*

*Mine's is in Hall 3*

*Guess I'll see you then :D*

*YaaaaaaaY*

I quickly dialed Joline's number

"He-" I cut her in mid-sentence "Guess who's coming to our championship" I said excitedly

"Ummmm,who?"She asked hesitantly as if she's supposed to know the answer but doesn't "Rose"I squeaked "What!No way ,You're kidding right? You always kid" can't help but feel a little hurt hurt by this but I passed it of my mind anyway "No she's coming,she has a penta championship in hall 3"

We kept blabbing about it for another half hour before I hung up,It feels so good to reunite with them and be all together in the same room before as we used to,now that I can't wait the best thing is to countdown the days for this week to pass.

After I read all the other whatsapp messages I realized that I still hadn't checked the the second facebook,so I went to checked then the smile disappeared from my face and my mood totally changed.

It was a message...from **Stefan**.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

*Did you send this friend request?If you didn't,remove me immediately *

What the hell is this? Who does he think he five years of not talking and removing me he just decides to speak again?and what friend request is he talking about?

*What friend request?*

He answers immediately

*You sent me a friend request,If you didn't the just remove me ok!*

decided to calm myself and joke around...If that's how he wants to do it

*Wow,chill I didn't know,It must be a mistake,sorry :)*

*Then remove me and quickly :D *

*And why is that?what is this treatment :P*

I know I'm probably doing the wrong this but I wanna see where this leads and I don't wanna seem to be so uptight

*And what am I supposed to say? :D*

*Say it what?* God I'm stupid

*Nothing,anyway remove me or I will*

Looks like he's got the same "Full of himself/jerky" attitude

*Fine whatever,I added you unintentionally and I thought fine,not a big deal and talked with you casually cause we're supposed to be grown-up and mature people and you got so mad, I don't understand why ,so don't tire yourself I'm gonna remove you...Bye.*

And I removed him,He didn't answer after that,he must be ashamed of himself

He should be.

...

"With that it just appeared that he's seen it and I removed him"I recalled to Caroline

"Wow he is still a jerk as I've understood from you"She chuckled

"What's weird is that I didn't even add him"

Caroline was the only one who knew about the "Stefan" situation,so she's the person I feel most comfortable with talking about it

"Look I have to hang up now,sorry we'll talk later?"She asked seeming guilty

"Yeah sure no probs"

I spent my night on my laptop watching Teen Wolf.

What a way to start my vacation.

...

The time passed by till the championship,all I did was go to practice and come to watch more TV-Shows.

But this championship I feel different,I don't really care if I win or lose I just play that's all.

So when I woke up to get ready I thought about "Why not just stay in there and act as if I just overslept and I didn't make it in time,I know that it'd be a lame excuse but I just don't feel like it.

But ofcourse my mom will come and wake and she won't leave until I'm up,she goes with to the championships..not that I mind I just wanna do it alone for once,even they're out of the state she goes with me it's kinda...suffocating.

So I get up and get dressed,get a cab with my mom and go to the stadium,the same old routine

...

"ROSE" I screech and run towards her engulfing her in a tight hug "I miss you so much"

"Me too,how have you been doing?"

"I'm fine,what about you?How's gymnastics?"

""Ughh,it's tiring,like really really tiring"

"Do you miss ping pong?" I asked her out of curiosity "Not as much I thought" She replied the reply I hadn't wish for

"Come on,let's go find Joline"

The three of us sat together catching up and it felt really good just we were when we were young.

"On my way here I saw Stefan's parents,they looked my way then turned around" Rose said "didn't you too have something going on when we were all together before?"

Me and Joline glanced at each other knowingly with an ironic smile on our face

"What am I missing here?" She asked "Nothing it's this little incident that happened like a week before or something,it's ironic actually" Joline said

"Speak of the devil" I murmured to myself

And again I told Rose what happened and with each time I felt myself more and more stupid. "Then I removed him"

"Wow! Can I see the chat?" she asked "Yeah sure just a sec"

I got my phone and opened the Facebook Messenger I searched the chat and felt my eyes widen "What the hell" I stood as I stared t my phone

"He blocked me...he effing blocked me,Is he crazy or something?"I say angrily

"Girl chill,he's not worth he's probably just trying to show off to his friends and be all like "I'm a man" and what not" Rose said calmly

"Well not on my count" my anger is rising,is he bipolar or something,not that bipolar people are like defected or something,in fact I actually support them but that's not what I meant,it's just UGHHHHHHH...this is so frustrating.

"Elena can I tell you something?"Joline asked

"Yeah?"

"I kinda talked to Stefan after you two had this thing on FB" she said hesitantly

"What?"Frustration building again

"I just.." she stopped then started again "Look after you told I wanted what was he thinking and what was his point of view and also to tell him that you really didn't mean a thing and you as confused as he was" she said with that look on her was that said hope-you-just-lighten-a-bit .

"And what did you too actually say to each other?" I asked

"Well of course I started with the hellos and how are you doing and these stuff" She started telling me and Rose but it was mainly directed to me "So I told him that you told me what happened and what is wrong,he said nothing I found her adding me on Facebook so I thought it wouldn't be just like that so I asked her what was it all about and then she started teasing me and I didn't get so I told her to remove or I will and to be completely honest I overrated a little,it was childish"

"TEASED HIM? I TEASED HIM?!" I was really angry now

She looked at me innocently,she's hiding something "Joline,what else did you talk about?"

"Nothing,we just said that everything has it's advantage and this one that it's got us to talk with each other again" she admitted shyly

"Wow so you took this as a hey how about we catch up on balloons and rainbows opportunity"

I said that as I stormed of and they kept calling but I just walked away.

...

Later that evening my mom went home after I finished my match *I lost as usual* just the one thing that I was missing,but Emily asked her that I would stay with and she'd drop me off later.

So I was sitting on the V.I.P section on the bleachers,(and yes I like to sit in them because they are comfortable) reading Fangirl when my phone rang it was my mom,I picked it up "Hi"

And I don't know why I just sat up and started climbing the stairs,I found Stefan a few rows above me,when our eyes met I gave him a look of disgust.

Then I just couldn't feel anything

"Your father's dead" my mothers said on the phone, I stood in place not moving an inch staring ahead,the next thing I knew is that everything went black and I heard my name being called.

||I'm sorry if my bipolar reference hurt anyone I don't mean anything by it,it's just a part of her character when she gets angry she starts saying stuff and her thoughts are jumbled,you'll get to know more in the story and again I don't mean anything by it,sorry||


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I wake up as I hear my name being called by alot of voices,I open my eyes and I see alot of faces that I don't recognize but Stefan is one them...Stefan?

His face is etched with concern,what's wrong?what happened?why are there concerned people hovering over me?

Then it all came crashing in,I remember my mom calling.

"Hi" "Hey honey" her voice sounded as she was crying "What's wrong"

"Honey you have to promise me that you'll stay calm and won't freak out"

"What is it?" I started to get nervous,there was moment of silence as I glanced at Stefan and looked at him disgustedly

Then her came shocking me like lightning "Your father's dead"

And I realize I fainted,I jolt up quickly,my father's dead,as in he's not here any more,I won't see him ,I search for my phone frantically,I look to my right and my left searching "Where's my...my,where's...my phone,where's my phone?" I ask

Someone hands it to me,I search for my mom's number and dial it quickly.

"Mom?please say it's not true"I start crying "Please tell me that dad's fine,mom?"

"I'm sorry,honey"she apologetically while crying

"No,no,no,please no"I start crying more,covering my face with my hands and everything is comes crashing down,it's too much,I can't

...

I sit on one of the chairs staring ahead at nothing,dry tears stained my cheeks from the amount of crying I cried,my mind is blank,I feel nothing,Stefan and Joline are standing a few steps away from me,talking but my mind can't register anything.

"I don't know what happened or anything but from her words when she was on the phone says that it had something to do with her dad" Stefan explains

"What happened from the beginning?"Joline asks him

"She was walking up the stairs talking on the phone,then froze and just fainted,when we woke her up,she was quite confused for like two seconds and then she searched for her phone and you should've seen her state,you'd say she was crazy,she took her and called and she kept saying please no say it's not true,and she kept crying we held and moved her to the chair and I called because you're the only one of her friends I know,she been that way since she stopped crying"

They both look my way "Ok thanks I'll take from here,and just FYI,She's not anymore,they got divorced ,she's again."Joline told him and came to me.

"Hey,E" Joline says,I do nothing I just sit and stare.

I can feel everything happening around,I can see it,hear it but I just can't do anything,like a robot that can't perform,I'm paralyzed.

"Come on I'll take you home" She told with some sort of emotion in her voice that I didn't really care to know what it is.

...

6 days have since my father's funeral and I'm still the same,my friends keep coming a going I just sit there,it seems like nothing matters anymore,I blocked out every emotion.

"Honey,"My mother knocks on the door and peaks her head from around the door "someone's here to see you" she opens it completely now to reveal Ryan.

This is the first time that I've seen Ryan since the funeral,he mutters a thank you to as she lets him and go sit by the seat under the bedroom window,I don't know what came but I suddenly felt the urge to stand up,so I did.

Ryan watched me warily as moved to sit next to him,I leaned my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath,then it all came crashing in.

The wall that I've built to keep from this moment,days of being emotionless and numb,to keep myself from the pain,to keep myself from this moment and stop being in denial and start realizing the fact that this is true and this is happening,I'm never gonna see my father again,I'm never gonna be able to crawl in his arms and cry in his warm embrace,I wouldn't be able to cuddle with him when I'm sleeping over at his house like his little girl anymore,We wouldn't hang out to eat pizza like we used to every month on our father-daughter date,he wouldn't hit me on my bum the way it made mad and say in a teasing tone "Your my little donkey,I get to do what I want with,you are mine,I made you",I won't be his little daughter anymore.

I've been crying silently until I let out a small sob Ryan immediately puts his arm around my shoulder and holds me to him,I start crying,really crying and let everything I've kept for the last week flood,he holds me close while I let all my emotions out.

I don't how much we've been siting like that,my tears are now dry but the pain is still there,we sit like that for a while,before I sit straight again,Ryan's still got a hand on my shoulder I can tell that he's debating on whether to say something or not .

I couldn't imagine my life without Ryan,he's always there for me,he's the shoulder to cry on,he never judges me for anything,he's supportive and when he says anything I wouldn't agree,I would agree because I know he just wants what's best for me and he's right most of the time,that's why I always listen to him,the way I feel about him is indescribable,I love him but not that kind of love,not the romantic one,he just means so much to me,whenever I need him,he's there,he's just like a brother to me,the brother I never had even more than a brother,I wouldn't give him for the world.

"I know it's a stupid question but are you a tad better now?"Ryan asks

I smile appreciatively "Not even close"

He nods,understanding "But hey this is the first I've cried since that day,it's progress,You've seen my face when you entered,I've been like that since then" he nods again and I'm sure he's lost for and don't know what to say and I understand him,I've been there "You can talk,you know" I chuckled at him a little

"I'm just afraid I might blurt out the wrong thing" he said with a slight smile,I nod "Well I appreciate your concern"

He laughed catching on the way we tease each other "How does it feel? How do you feel" He's serious now

"Not better that is what I know,but I'm going there" I trailed a little "You know,I don't think I'll ever be better,it'll just be okay,I'll learn to live but I don't think It'll ever be better,It'll like moving on and not moving on at the same time" I stop again not knowing how to explain this "It's just a part of me is missing like a hole,a gap inside of you,you know what I mean?"

"Yeah,I wouldn't be able to explain too,but I know what you when" he says smiling and I can feel he's just trying to be there and I appreciate it,this is why he means so much

"Yeah,it'll be okay" He says knowingly

**||I'm sorry for the late update but I'm also sorry because updating will be less frequent for a while :(||**


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